Are You Shadi or are You Tea?
by ContessaLumas
Summary: Cowritten with NeoDarkMagicianGirl. what would if... you'll just have to read and find out. all Tea haters welcome!


Haruko: HiHi! This is our first Yu-Gi-Oh fic!

Neo: well, more you than me. I made a crossover one in the Furuba section

Haruko: shut up…

Neo: whatever…. Lets just get this show on the road!

Haruko: okay, but who are we gonna get to do the disclaimer?

:we stare at each other for 2 seconds:

Haruko&Neo: Dartz

:A disco ball comes down from the ceiling as the song "shake your groove thing" begins to play:

Dartz:is dancing to the music: disclaimer— these two don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. If they did, Yami and Kaiba would have been sexually molested already.

Haruko&Neo: HEY!

Neo: that's not true!

Haruko: well… for you maybe… 0:)

Neo: Oo…

………………………………………………………………………………………………

The auditioning room was as noisy as an elementary school cafeteria as everyone talked amongst themselves. All the characters that had ever shown up on Yu-Gi-Oh were there. Then the two authoresses entered.

One was rather tall with brown hair and eyes. She wore all black. Boots, pants, and shirt. All with a white jacket. Her hair was up in a ponytail. This was Haruko Sohma.

The other was a couple of inches shorter than Haruko. She wore blue pants, a black tank top, black cuffs and boots, with a blue jacket. Her dark brown hair was also pulled back into a pony tale. Her brown eyes scanned the room. This was NeoDarkMagicianGirl. Everyone called her Neo for short.

Upon searching the room, Neo spoke up. "So, who are we gonna pick?"

Haruko responded, "I think we should go into the crowd and pick out our favorite characters"

"Works for me" Neo said.

After about ten minutes of searching, they both came back with their favorites.

Neo returned with Yami in one hand, Mokuba in the other. Yugi and Alister followed.

As for Haruko, she dragged Kaiba along with one hand while Mokuba's other hand was in hers also. Following them was Joey, Marik, and Valon.

"This could take a while" Haruko said thinking about the situation.

"Yeah," Neo responded, "let's narrow this down to one character each."

"Okay"

For Neo, her selection went like this:

"Hmmm…. Alister, I like you, but not enough. Goodbye."

"Okay, later." _Psycho _he thought.

"Yugi… I reeeaally like you, but… just not as much as Yami. I'm sorry"

Yugi began to get teary eyed. Neo's response to this was to hug him. "I'm so sorry Yugi! I really am!"

All the while Yugi was thinking _I can go in peace! Yes! I feel so sorry for Yami! _

So, as he ran off, Neo was down to two. She realized that in her competition of love against Haruko, Yami would always be hers. So she let him go. As he ran the hell away from her, he thanked Ra for his mercy.

As for Haruko…

"Hmm… hot-ness wise… I have no idea who to let go… but depending on who I love more… Joey, Valon, you two gotta go." She looked at Marik and Kaiba. "Hmm…" then she remembered Mokuba.

"Marik, Kaiba, they say when you love someone you gotta let them go. I love you two, now go."

"Okay" they said simultaneously. Then they ran for the hills. All the while, Kaiba was worried about his little brother, but he knew the two authoresses would never dare hurt him. If they did, there would be hell to pay. Especially from the one who had an obsession with clinging to him (Haruko: ha! you know you love me Seto!).

So, then the two were left with Mokuba.

Haruko said "y'know, instead of trying to break his poor little arms off in an argument, let's just let him go and pick some other people"

Neo's response was "wow Haruko. You're being rather civil today"

"What does civil mean?"

"-.-; Never mind, let's just let him go."

"Okay"

So they let little Mokuba escape, and well… he escaped… yeah…

"Now what are we gonna do?" Neo asked.

After thinking about it for a few seconds, she spoke up. "How 'bout we pick two neglected characters or something."

"Okay, sure"

"Oh! Pick me!"

They both turned around to find Dartz flailing his arms in the air.

Neo said, "I don't think so. You had a whole season of Yu-Gi-Oh to be a villain"

"Plus you're already doing our disclaimers"

Dartz got all teary-eyed "b-but… I need all the work I can get… I was fired from the yoga show!" (Neo: see "the yoga show" written by me in the Fruits Basket section of ff.n for reference)

"We said 'no' already, so leave now!" Haruko shouted at him.

He began to cry.

Being the sympathetic rabbit she is, Neo said, "okay… you can have a cameo or two in the story"

"Wee hee!" then he ran off to tell leviathan the great news.

"Oooh-kay…?" Haruko said. "Now for real this time. We need a character that we can easily torture…"

There was a moment of silence before they said simultaneously, "Tea"

"So that's one down. Who's next?" Neo asked.

Then Weevil and Rex showed up.

"How 'bout us?" they asked.

Haruko looked at Rex and said, "I don't like you cuz you tried to take Joey's soul." She looked at Weevil. "You're just plain too disturbing."

Neo looked at Rex and said "I just don't like you" then she looked at Weevil. "You tried to take the pharaoh's soul… and what she said."

As the two left, Haruko and Neo wondered what they were going to do.

Just then an Egyptian wearing a turban entered the room sipping a latte.

"SHADI!" Neo and Haruko exclaimed.

"Huh?" Shadi looked up at them (Haruko: FYI, Shadi has a Hindu/Indian accent in this fic… like Apu from _The Simpsons_!)

"Shadi! You're perfect for the cast!" Haruko said excitedly.

"Um… okay?"

"Yay! casting is officially over! Everyone else get the hell out!" Neo yelled out.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

It was after school at domino high, but two students were still in the chemistry lab working on an over-due project.

"Hey, Neo" Haruko asked being off task as usual.

"What?" Said Neo in an agitated tone. She always had to do all the work herself.

"What happens when you mix pickles with apple sauce?"

"… Apple sauce with pickles in it…"

"Oh… what about chicken soup with fish sticks?"

"Soggy fish sticks and crummy soup."

"Oh… okay… what happens when you add liquid nitrogen?"

"Frozen soup with fish sticks… wait… why?"

"Oh… no reason" Haruko said while holding up a spoon with a frozen half-sphere shaped chunk of soup stuck to it with fish sticks poking out of it.

"Now I know why I have to do all the work…-.-;"

"Hey Neo? What happens if I add nitro glycerin?"

Neo didn't respond because she turned to Haruko, took the bottle from her, and said, "Never, I repeat, NEVER mess around with this stuff!"

"Okay. Ra, you worry too much"

"That's necessary when dealing with you"

"Hey Neo… what's this glowy stuff?"

"I don't know, but don't mess with it" was Neo's response.

"Too late" Haruko said as she poured it onto the frozen soup and fish sticks.

"Baka kitsune! What have you done?"

"I dunno… hey, it's all melted now… and it smells all toxic-y… shwooz, I think I'm getting high off of this stuff… -…"

"It probably is toxic… let's go make Tea drink it"

"Okay!"

…

Tea sat in an empty classroom… she was reading or something, how the hell should I know? Anyway, Haruko came in all drunk-like, while Neo waited in the hallway.

"HiHi Fea!"(Haruko: for those of you who don't know, 'fea' is Spanish for 'ugly'. Coincidentally, it rhymes with Tea.)

"Um… hey Haruko… why do you look like your drunk?"

"Oh! No reason! I just drank some of this stuff! Is' good!"

"How come it's all green and glowy?"

"Because…:shifty eyes:whispers: it gives you super powers"

"Yeah right"

"If you don't believe me, check this out!"

Haruko was suddenly in a superhero costume with fox ears and a fox tail. She said:

"I am Foxy Lady! Fear me!" then she shot heat beams out of her eyes into some random wall. (Neo: that was too wrong for words) (Haruko: oh, how it pained me to type that… I was high off of some unknown chemical! So sue me!)

To this, Tea responded, "If I drink it will you promise to not kill me?"

"Meh-beh" (translation: maybe)

So, Tea drank it and all of a sudden, collapsed.

Then Neo ran in asking "is she dead? Is she dead?"

"I dunno…"

"… Hey wait a minute… Haruko, wasn't there more of this stuff?"

"Hmm? Oh, yeah! I sent it to Egypt via e-mail!"

"How the hell can you send a bottle via e-mail! And why Egypt?"

"I dunno, but this is fan fiction! Work with it!"

":Sigh:"

Meanwhile, in some cave-thing, the keeper of the millennium items was a very happy camper…

Shadi had just gotten a new computer and he was oh-so very happy. So happy in fact he did the happy dance! With Dartz! (Dartz: yes! Cameo time!)

Disco mania! Oh, yeah, anyway…

So Shadi sat down in front of his shiny new computer, and he started it up

"This is so exciting! Oh! I shall go check my e-mail now!" (Remember the accent people)

"Okay! User ID: shaduu2000. Password: wfthe#2whiletypingoutgenishaisgreatandtappingontheescapekeyfor20minutes" (Dartz: disclaimer- these two don't own Foamy the squirrel or the guy who works at Tech Support)

Then the computer dude said, "You've got mail"

"Oh! It talks to me! Hello there!"

"You've got mail"

"What is your name?"

"You've got mail"

"What an interesting name"

"Check you Ra-damned mail before I self-destruct"

"Okay! It has been wonderful talking! Holy Osiris! I do have mail! Yayness!"

Shadi clicked on the inbox thingy and all of a sudden, a bottle shot out of the screen and whacked Shadi in the eye.

"Ouchies! You American bastards!"

The message on the screen said to drink it, so Shadi did so, and all of a sudden, he collapsed as well.

Two minutes later, he awoke again, but something was wrong.

"Ugh… what happened…? Why am I wearing a robe thing?" 'Shadi' took off his turban/towel. "Ahh! I'm bald!"

Meanwhile in domino high 

'Tea' was beginning to awake.

"Damnit! She's alive!" Neo said.

"Well, at least we won't be charged with murder" Haruko said, quite sane at that point.

"Oh, what has happened to me? Oh! And why am I wearing pink! And a skirt! Oh my Eset! I have hair!"

"Um… Fea?"

"Who is this Fea? And why am I in this place that is unknown to me?"

"Wait," Neo said noticing what happened, "Shadi?"

"Yes! I am here!"

Haruko caught up on the situation, "but wait. If this is Shadi, Then where's Fea?"

In Egypt 

"I'm bald!"

Back to Domino high 

"Okay, now I get it" Haruko said at last.

Meanwhile, Shadi was going through the wonders of being a female.

"Dear Anubis! I've never worn a thong before! And let me tell you… I don't hate it" (Dartz: disclaimer- these two don't own _So Little Time_)

"Oo"

"0O"

"That was more than I needed to hear"

"I think I'm blind…"

So, the rest of the day was spent explaining to Shadi what went on. All the while, in Egypt, Fea was crying because she was bald.

TBC… 

Authoress's endnotes:

Haruko: okay, so how was that for chapter one?

Neo: after we wrap things up a bit in chapter two, all we'll be doing is replacing Tea with Shadi and Shadi with Tea, and just do random scenes from Yu-Gi-Oh.

Haruko: as soon as we get writer's block, we'll need some ideas, so feel free to suggest stuff! Kaykay?"

Neo: now there's just one thing left to say. Dartz!

Dartz: yay! More appearances for me! Please review, or I shall steal your souls for the great leviathan!

Haruko&Neo: GIVE IT A REST DARTZ!


End file.
